One of the perks of having the position I do at The Natchez Democrat is that I have numerous friends in high places.

I’m always getting calls from people all across the country giving me the latest news and gossip.

One of my buddies is a big shot in Los Angeles and he called me up yesterday and told me quite an interesting story.

Apparently, he was eating lunch at one of those outdoor restaurants where the pretty and powerful people eat when he overheard a conversation between a scriptwriter and a big-time movie producer.

The writer was trying to pitch a script to the producer and the story had a familiar ring to it.

My man has an outstanding memory, and he remembered the conversation verbatim. It was just too interesting not to share with all of you. So here it is.

“Mr. Stephens, I have a can’t miss movie idea for your studio to produce. It’s a cross between a sports drama and soap opera. Think ‘The Program’ meets ‘Days of Our Lives.’ It’s got happiness, confusion, betrayal and controversy.”

“Hmmm. Sounds interesting Mr. Thompson,” the movie producer said while stroking his goatee. “Tell me more about it.”

“Well, it’s about a college in the woods of Mississippi, a small school whose football program has fallen on hard times. The fans stop coming to the games and the head coach is fired.

Enter a new coach. This guy is a young fellow who played for the school back in the good ole days. He talks a good game and says his team will be winners.”

“OK, OK, I get it,” says the movie producer. “They turn the program around and win the conference championship the next year, then players carry the coach off on their shoulders after the game.”

“Oh heck no, this is much better than that,” says the writer. “It’s just getting started.

“The team struggles, losing 10 games the next year, many of them in the final seconds. They also lose a close game to their archrival in the season finale.

“But everybody’s looking forward to next year when all of a sudden, the bottom drops out.”

“What happens next?” asked the producer.

“Well, the athletic director decides to up and fire every assistant coach, without telling the head coach. They all find out when watching the news the night before Thanksgiving.”

“That’s crazy. Who would do a thing like that?” asked the producer.

“But there’s more,” the writer said. “The coach hires a couple of lawyers and they start making noise about a lawsuit.”

About a week goes by and then the president of the university gives the assistant coaches their jobs back.”

“So there is a happy ending after all,” the producer said.

“Not quite. Two days later, the athletic director fires the head coach.”

“Huh? They hire the assistant coaches back and then fire the head coach? Do you think our moviegoers are stupid? No one is going to believe that could happen. It’s too ridiculous.”

The writer started to sweat a little at this point and then quickly said.

“But it gets even more crazy. The coach sues the school for $3 million and wants his job back. He continues recruiting like he would normally do if he hadn’t been fired…”

“I can’t sit here and listen to this anymore,” the producer then said as he stood up to leave. “It’s just too far fetched. I mean, ‘The Waterboy’ had more of a realistic plot.”

“But it will work!” the desperate writer said. “Just hear me out!”

“No, no, no,” the producer replied as he walked away. “A movie has to have some semblance of realism. It would be a sad state if this ever happened in real life. I just can’t imagine adults behaving this way. I’d feel sorry for the school that had to put up with that.”

Well now I’ve got to come clean. I don’t really have a friend in LA that hobnobs with movie producers and there most definitely isn’t a movie script out there about what’s going on at Alcorn State.

I mean, how could there be? What’s been playing out at Alcorn for the past two weeks is too wild for even the most outlandish Hollywood writer to dream up.