Dating violence is both widespread and potentially deadly.

Studies indicate that at least one in 10 teens will be involved in an abusive relationship. As within other forms of domestic violence, in 95 percent of the cases, it is is the male who is the abuser.

The most common trait of this form of violence is the need to control and possess the victim just as in the violent adult relationship. An abusive boyfriend often forces his girlfriend to abandon other friends, become alienated from her family, spend all of her time with him or even quit school.

The abuse generally starts with intimidation and verbal abuse, including name calling, put downs and exploiting insecurities that are magnified during adolescence, such as the fear that no one else will want to date the girl.

It often involved the familiar control issues, such as activity control and isolation from family and friends.

Physical violence may follow the cyclical pattern, with tension, explosion, then promises to change.

The violence is often blamed on the girl, or characterized as “no big deal.”

Forced sexual activity is often a feature of these relationships.

Yet there are special factors that may make teenagers more susceptible to violent relationships than adults. Self-esteem is especially vulnerable during adolescence.

There is probably no other time of life when self-image is so shaky and peer acceptance is crucial to a person’s sense of self-worth.

Additionally, teenagers simply lack life experience. They do not have the perspective of adults in making decisions. Young women tend to be susceptible to romantic notions that “true love” means an all-encompassing passion that allows for jealousy, possessiveness and aggression as a demonstration of devotion and commitment.

Girls feel they need to have a boyfriend to have a social identity, and boys equate aggressive behavior with manliness.

Another alarming aspect of violence among teens is the prevalence of guns in the hands of increasingly younger adolescents.

This is of special concern in areas plagued by gang violence. Cases in which boyfriends or ex-boyfriends use guns to frighten, injure or kill young women and bystanders are becoming increasingly frequent.

Young women face more obstacles when they do try to use the resources available to adult victims. In many states, a minor will have a more difficult time getting a protective order, especially if she does not have an adult to support her in the process. Many shelters and counseling programs also require adult permission.

Carolene Britt is a counselor at Southwest Mississippi Mental Health Complex’s Alcohol and Drug Office. She can be reached at 601-446-6634 or at 200 S. Wall St., Natchez.