Many people believe pyramids — the triangular forms pointing skyward made famous by the ancient Egyptians — have mystical powers.

The shape is said to do everything from preserve the freshness of food to keep razor blades sharp — most of the claims seem to have been debunked at least a few times.

The pseudo-scientific pedigree now has yet another strike by it. Clearly, pyramids cannot convince Americans how to follow a more healthy diet.

Reportedly the United States Department of Agriculture is ready to announce that this week.

Several reports predict the USDA is set to retire the infamous “food pyramid,” which was adopted in 1992, on Thursday.

After nearly two decades of trying to force American couch potatoes into healthier living through the power of the pyramid, the feds have seen the hieroglyphics on the wall. Uncle Sam’s official wrecking ball will be rolled out and the pyramid will go down in history.

But never fear. The feds have a new, amazing symbol reportedly ready to help Americans see through the murkiness of the haze of sugar-induced fog in our collective conscious.

Reportedly the pyramid will be replaced by the lowest common denominator of food icons — the plate.

It’s all for a good cause. Americans are far too unhealthy and that must change. But as long as processed, unhealthy foods are cheaper than healthier, wholesome alternatives the icon we use to promote healthy eating may as well be a photograph of a flabby belly.

Americans will not change their habits until it’s in not only in their long-term best interests, but also in their short-term pocketbook’s interest, too.