“Do as I say, not as I do!” This is something we’ve heard and experienced throughout our lives.  Whether at home, work or school, it never fails that we’ve had someone above us behaving this way towards us. For many, this is an example of how management behaves — managers arriving late, yet expecting everyone else to be on time; company owners releasing workers and decreasing salaries, while giving themselves additional vacation days and increases in pay; supervisors delegating tasks while they sit, watch and point the finger; management directing employees to treat everyone equally, all the while giving favorites special attention and allowance to slide by doing the bare minimum. Last week in fact, the Clarion Ledger reported that the state legislature is recommending cutting every other agency’s spending, but not their own.

Leadership is showing others how to behave and perform through their own actions.  Leadership is putting others first.  Leadership is coming in early and staying late. It is also taking credit last and giving it all to the team. Because of these behaviors, leadership provides a basis for motivating others to willingly do what they likely would not do otherwise.  Stephen F. Covey mentions that success leading others includes, “Seeking first to understand, then to be understood.”  If parents would seek to understand why children were behaving the way they were first, and then come up with a solution or if teachers tried understanding why their students were misbehaving in class; if supervisors tried understanding why their employers were underperforming, then the obvious solutions may be different than first assumed.

The reality is summed up in a motto that says, “Together, everyone achieves more.”  When the right leadership is in place in business, in schools, in community, and the employees, students, citizens and children believe that their leaders — managers, teachers, parents — have listened to them and shown genuine concern, they all tend to perform differently.  When you know someone cares about you, although you may have accepted failure from yourself in the past, you will do whatever you can do to rise to the occasion and to succeed; if not for you, then for the person that believes in you.

I can’t help but wonder how misbehaviors would decrease all around, if those in positions of leadership took the time to ask the questions necessary to better understand those they lead.  If educators had a better idea of what their students are facing in their daily lives and if they understood their students’ family dynamics, then this information could help them to strategize a more effective way to work with them. It is true — they don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.

Of course, the sad truth is that the students, parents, teachers and leaders are probably doing the best they can do — human nature is that no one sets out to fail. The problem is that our culture has evolved to a point that leaders are few and far between because we have not taught leadership. We have relied largely on natural ability and common sense, which as it turns out is not so common, to guide our leaders and allow them to rise to the top. All too often, bullying and/or passive aggression has become the strategy to manipulate people into doing what is asked of them. Of course, this often means that when the bully is not looking, they revert to what they would rather be doing. We now have an incredible opportunity to begin to teach and reward leadership which could move our entire community to a whole new level of success, a healthier economy and a whole new motivation for engagement!

Join Natchez United as we strive for a stronger community:

4Mondays at 7 p.m. — Prayer at the Hotel Vue

4Tuesdays at 7 .m. — Community Issues at the Hotel Vue

4Thursdays at 7 p.m. – Open Mic on the Porch at the Natchez Grand
Jeremiah Rios is a Natchez United member.