Move over Mr. Parker, I’ve earned my own major award and it’s far better than your glowing leg lamp.

In fact, it’s so good they want me to pay $5,000 to receive it.

I was notified of my honor last week, via a phone call to my office voicemail. Brian Stanley from Newt Gingrich’s office called.

I have been chosen as one of Newt’s businesswomen of the year representing Mississippi, Brian said in the voicemail.

Odd, I thought, since I certainly hadn’t applied for such a title nor do I really consider myself a true businesswoman.

Last week was a busy one, preparing for balloon race, and the call from Newt’s office was not a high priority, so I waited until this week to return ole Brian’s phone call.

When I dialed the 1-800 number Tuesday, I was routed to what I think was a call center for American Solutions — a company run by Newt.

I couldn’t find Brian; instead I talked with a woman.

“This will be an absolutely historic night,” she told me referring to the award ceremony Newt was going to have in my honor.

“Newt will be broadcasting live on election night from the Ronald Reagan Building in Washington, D.C. You might want to wear a dark colored suit or a dress so you’ll look best on camera as the 2010 businesswoman of the year representative from Mississippi.”

The American Solutions representative was unable to tell me exactly how many businesswomen of the year from Mississippi there might be. She’s still calling around, she said.

She did say attending this event would be great for my business.

“It will allow you to spend some real quality time with Newt at the center of the universe on election night.”

Why not, sign me up, right?

Thankfully, I wasn’t born yesterday.

I asked the woman how much being businesswoman of the year would cost me.

That answer depends on exactly how I’d like to celebrate my honor.

For the low, low price of just $5,000 I can grab my best black dress, my husband and my own airfare to D.C. for a spot at a table with, I suspect, 8 or 10 other great businesswomen of the year.

But why celebrate such a “major award” with such a small crowd?

It would be a better deal to take the table for eight, grab my husband, my parents, my in-laws and my two favorite co-workers and sign that $15,000 check to Newt.

Or, since the current economic times are rough, I could pass on the dinner and “quality time with Newt” and simply send a check for $1,000 to have my name in the program and my award mailed.

Still a better bargain, I can send $250 to simply receive my award in the mail. I wonder if it comes in a large wooden crate marked “Fra-gee-lay,” just like Mr. Parker’s famous award in the 1980s movie “A Christmas Story.” (“Fragile” is Italian, you know.)

With so many options, I told my call center representative that I simply needed some time to think it over before getting back to them.

I’ve done my thinking now, and though I’m humbled by Newt’s offer, I don’t think I’m worthy of such a major — and expensive — award.

Though I believe in much of the core Republican agenda Newt supports — granted he does go a little far at times — I think my support will have to come on a smaller, cheaper and less political scale.

Besides, I looked online, and general admission to this shindig is only $25 at the door.

Julie Cooper is the managing editor of The Natchez Democrat. She can be reached at 601-445-3551 or julie.cooper@natchezdemocrat.com.