For the past few years, I have been tuned into life, mine in particular.

I have paid attention to how I look at the world and how the world may look at me; but now, I am in a mode of life where it seems there is a peacefullness no matter what. While talking on the phone with a relative of mine, just the other day, I was asked a familiar question that is asked if a person is not around to observe you. The question was “how are you? As I paused for a minute to find the words, I went on to talk about the status of my life and as I searched my mind to find the exact words to say, I became elated. Finally on the other end of the line came these words, “just say, all is well.” And strange as it may seem, so it was.

Looking back there was always something in my life to keep me on my knees praying. In other words, the cares of this world kept me in a prostrate position. The cares of this world would have me to worry about this and worry about that. Soon as one problem had been conquered, another one arose. Despite all the things that have gone wrong and knocked me down for the count, I always found that little strength to get up and keep going.

A well known movie best described my life — “Rocky.” Rocky endured knock downs time after time, but he still got up. As you see Rocky fighting, you might see a cut above his eye, his nose disfigured and blood running everywhere. You could only see the effects of the fight on Rocky’s face, but in reality he was being hit other places. Places such as the rib cage, the arms and possibly below the belt (even though it was forbidden). The only part that was visible to the spectators and onlookers was his face.

There were times in my life when I felt that I was Rocky. Sometimes the punches were coming so fast till it was so hard to gain my consciouness. Sometimes the beating was so hard until I had every reason to give up. Sometimes my inner pain was getting the best of me. Although I had some physical pain too, I never allowed them to show. This reminds me that one thing is for sure, onlookers can only see the visible pain, but not the physical pain. They can only see the smile, but they can’t see the tears; they can only hear the “I’m doing OK,” but, they can’t hear the “I’m crying inside and nobody knows it but me.”

I’m reminded that, as a Christian, the Bible tells us to wash our faces or put on the face of confidence that shows that you know, that you know, no matter what God’s got it in control.

Even though that look presents itself as if there is no pain or that you are inhuman, it is only to show that we trust God for the inevitable because we know he cares for us. It is to show others that we know, the battle is not ours, but the Lords; it is to show others that we are pretty much waiting on and watching God work; it is to show others no pain, no gain because our faith is beyond our pain. In other words, it is to show others that we have been given that power to put mind and faith over problem. Personally, through it all, I’ve learned to depend upon God to make “everything” alright. Through it all, my daily prayer is to have a sense of peace to have me to endure the blows of this world.

A peace that comforts me; a peace that allows me to get up and keep moving; a peace that allows me to smile despite my pain. As I said earlier, it is so strange for me right now because I don’t feel the pain of the cares of this world. No, I’m not saying my life is rosy, I’m just saying it doesn’t matter, no more, what blows, punches, or kicks the world offers me. I’m saying as long as I got Jesus, “all is well.”

Beverly Holmes Gibson is a Ferriday resident.