I recently celebrated my 50th wedding anniversary. I now feel that I can speak somewhat as an expert on marriage, family life and child rearing. My expertise on women: Not so much.

I believe the very first requirement of marriage is a mutual respect for each other. Love is not possible without respect. Love and lust are often confused, but lust to me is false love based on little or no respect. The experts tell us that lust usually lasts for less than two years.

There is no way to describe love. We all know what love is, and we recognize it as one of our most overwhelming emotions. It is like the wind; we cannot see it, we can only see and feel the effects of love. Technically, it is mediated in our brains by a powerful neurotransmitter called oxytocin. To see or touch those we love or to love one’s baby from the very first moment we see it, are feelings influenced by oxytocin. Love causes us to sacrifice, share, protect, provide and even give up our very lives for those we love and love us.

Of all that has been said and written pertaining to raising a strong family, many seem not to care. Having been there and done that, I know that a strong father and strong mother living together and working in tandem for the benefit and betterment of their children is the only satisfactory arrangement for child rearing. As situations arise, it requires two people to evaluate and tend to their family’s needs.

Today, more than 40 percent of Americans believe that marriage is outdated and unnecessary. Recent statistics indicate that 59 percent of all American babies and 73 percent of black American babies are born out of wedlock. The repercussions of this grand, new social experiment that is encompassing so many thousands of children are yet to be discerned in the upcoming generations. We all hope for the best.

Many parents, usually mothers, love their children so much that they can’t subject them to proper discipline.

Psychology warns us that children’s personalities and appropriate behavior can only be molded before they are 7 years of age.

It’s sort of like being able to train a sapling, but find it impossible to bend a tree.

If a child is allowed to be a brat at 7, he will continue to be a brat at 70 and wonder why people never liked him much.

I have never, in my entire life, hit a woman in anger. I think that those men who do so are the lowest of all men. I can’t imagine how depressing it must be to live in a situation in which there is domestic violence between spouses and children. Move out!

My wife has been a wonderful life companion. I love her and our family for so many reasons that I could never count the ways.

It’s been the most fun that I’ve ever had!

 

Ed Field

Natchez